http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015287.html

Black girl: I'm not voting. I'm from Illinois and I never registered to get an absentee ballot.
White guy: Well, Obama's clearly going to win there, anyway. (pause) Oh, wait... No, I didn't mean...
Black girl: No, it's okay, you're right, I would have voted for him.
White guy: But that's not why I... It wasn't the black thing, it was the NYU thing.

--NYU Silver Center

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015286.html

NYU professor: And so the Chinese invented statistics to take censuses. (to girl) Would you have been counted?
Girl: Um... Yes?
Guy: No, because they only counted men in the censuses.
Professor: Right, because this was back in the good old days, when men were men and women were washing machines.

--NYU Kaufman Building

Overheard by: Erin

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/archive/2008/07/04.html

dapple: a small contrasting blotch; also, to mark with spots.

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015285.html

Euchre partner #1: Dude! I saved your ass on that hand.
Euchre partner #2: Yes -and thank you for being Jesus for my anus.

--Euchre Club of Queens

I'm so bored with my hair. I want to cut it but I dont know how. All I know is that I want to keep the "bigness" of it all. I can't help it! I'm a child of the 80's. heres a couple of pictures of me (curly and straight)

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015282.html

Girl to friend: (smiling) I am so happy to have gone to the spa!
Angry preacher passing by: (screaming) You are all going to hell!
Girl to friend: (no longer smiling) I didn't need to hear that.

--Port Authority

i have been busy, busy, busy all week. i'm not sure i can even function enough to finish this post. i went to ikea the other day with sal and we stayed there for 4 hours. it was so much fun. i worked this week. and um. did a lot of shopping for thailand. i now have a massive collection of bug spray, insecticide, and bug repellant coil things. i also got a new water bottle because mine broke =[ but the new one is sickkk.

i can absolutely not believe that i only have about 24 hours on this half of the world. it's just not making sense to me. i mean... its not happening. half my clothes and belongings are packed up. all i have to do is drive to the airport, sit on a plane for 23 hours, and i'm stuck on an island half way across the world for a month. ahhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. nuts.

ms. msdonough and ms. rich came into abma's the other day. i just do not understad those 2... ms. mc d is way too cool for ms. rich. anyway it was a weird experience that i hope to never come across again.

oh, so to add to the bad news of the people in my life (everyone has been dying, steph's ridiculously broken foot, my unconcience dad...) my boss has throat cancer and has had 2 surgeries in 2 weeks and freaking... ryan has lymes disease now. oooh, what am i supposed to do with a bunch of broken people?

i definitely have more to say but i don't feel like making an effort anymore and i'm definitely not gonna finish this post. ending it here...

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015281.html

Giant rasta to his dick: Man, I know one thing for sure, I ain't needing no more to drink tonight! I'm trying to enjoy my night with you, Woody. Woody? Woody? You awake, Woody? Man, I needs me one of them diamond pills already?
Onlooker #1: Is he talking to his shit?
Onlooker #2: I'm sure as hell not Woody.

--The Coffee Shop, Union Square

Overheard by: Schreibz

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015280.html

Mom: You're not cooking anymore. You're awful.
Daughter: I don't like cooking. I'd rather bake.
Mom: Of course you would, you fucking stoner.

--A Train

Overheard by: A Birdy Told Me

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015279.html

Detective #1: Hurry up, we have a DOA!
Detective #2: Relax, it's just a DOA. It's not like somebody died.

--Upper Westside Police Precinct

Overheard by: BigCitySgt

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015278.html

Woman: Do you have any books on violins?
Sales guy: Well, we don't have a lot about playing them, but we have some about the sensuality of it.
Woman: It's for a child.
Sales guy: Oh.

--Borders, 57th & Park Ave

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015277.html

Guy walking small dog: It's crazy that we live so close to each other and I never see you.
Woman walking giant dog: I know it's my fault, I've been crazy busy at work.
Guy: We don't have to make it a big thing -even if we just get together for a half an hour of sex.
Woman: I'm up for that!

--W 26th St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015276.html

Father to little daughter: You are the most beautiful girl in this photo... and I'm not biased.
(daughter smiles)
Father: Do you know what "biased" means?
Daughter (rolling her eyes): Yes, it means that you like both boys and girls.

--F Train

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015275.html

College girl #1: Ugh, I can't believe I have to go to my uncle's wedding. It's his fucking third one!
College girl #2: His third one?
College girl #1: Yes! Why can't he just go to some deserted island and get married by himself?!
College girl #3: Well, you can't really get married by yourself.
(pause)
College girl #1: Will you please just be supportive? You know what I mean.

--MetroNorth, Harlem Line

Overheard by: rpk

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015274.html

Awkward Japanese teacher: So you guys use text messages, right? Like... L-O-L?
(students look confused)
(awkward Japanese teacher laughs)
Student, proudly: I know: L-O-L sensei!
Awkward Japanese teacher: Oh em gee.

--Columbia University

Overheard by: vicksburg

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015273.html

Girl: You'll never guess what I saw in the Delancey Street station today. I was about to sit down on the bench when I noticed that someone had drawn swastikas all over it with a marker.
Guy: That's distasteful.
Girl: Tell me about it. I'm sure people come across that and have their day completely ruined. Luckily, I was only slightly annoyed.

--G Train

Overheard by: greg*

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015369.html

Conductor: Yes, here's the bathroom. And if someone's in there (points to the garbage can in the wall) you can go right in there, I don't care.
Guy standing near the garbage, to another passenger: Hey, hey! Not while I'm standing here.

--Train Departing from Penn Station

Headline by: Rachel

Runners-Up:
· "And the Waterfountain Is a Bidet on Really Busy Days" - bdayfox
· "I Guess It Really Is Better to Be Pissed Off Than Pissed On" - Mark
· "Let Me Lay Down and Get Comfortable First" - ddv
· "Please Stand Clear Of the Emptying Bowels" - Mr. Hedge
· "So That's What They Mean by "Business" Class." - Jessie Birks
· "Wait Till We Get to Newark, When I Can't Tell the Difference" - Barry P.


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015272.html

Preppy girl: I wonder why celebrities do so many drugs.
Queen: Honey, you can only buy so much couture.

--F Train

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/archive/2008/07/03.html

tutelage: guardianship; protection; also, instruction.

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015271.html

Girl #1: Look, yo! You got a tumor on your arm, a tumor!
Girl #2: That's not a tumor, it's a mosquito bite... like my tits!

--E Train

Overheard by: Jatmos

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015270.html

Guy: So you slept with her?!
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: You were supposed to be taking pictures of the drugs, not seducing her.

--Red Hook Boardwalk

Title: Wick
Author: accio_cowbell
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 12
Characters: Anna, Melchior
Summary: Three years after Wendla’s passing, Anna and Melchior find each other and form a new connection.
Preview: "Melchior!" Anna whispers as she tries to lace her boots. In her haste, she falls over and hits the ground, eventually pulling them on as she sits on the floor. "Melchior, I must go home!"
Author’s Note: Oh man, this is quite the action-packed chapter. If you're just joining us, I suggest, NOT reading this one first and start from, well, Chapter 1. :) Please, please, please let me know what you think! I love meaty comments. XD

( The garden is dead- it's the most forgotten place I've ever seen! )

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015269.html

Ghetto chick to friend: Remember when you took that chinchilla from me, back in the day?

--Q Train

Overheard by: Chloe

Grungy dude on cell: So I jumped on my horse and got the fuck outta there.

--14th & 6th

Overheard by: bildita

Guy: ...and those Egyptians had crocodiles. Those crocodiles that shoot lasers out of their eyes.

--Metropolitian Musuem of Art

Overheard by: Bonkers in Yonkers

Hipster chick: Deer antlers. Everywhere I go, all I see are deer antlers. I'm getting sick of it.

--14th St & 1st Av

Overheard by: Larry

Thug: I'm like super pimp. I pimp men and women... And cats and dogs. Shit, I got the whole animal kingdom.

--10th & Broadway

Composed chick on cell: He's a giraffe, and I'm a leopard, and I'm never gonna be a giraffe. I've tried and tried, but my destiny is as a leopard, you see? I can fake being a giraffe for awhile, but eventually I'm gonna have to rip his throat out and feed on his entrails. It's in my nature. The only alternative is divorce.

--Billiard Hall, Elizabeth & Bowery

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015268.html

Tourist to doorman, in thick German accent: Excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Hooters?

--53rd St

Overheard by: jillcorp

Tourist taking a picture of her uncooperative teenage daughter: Shut up and pose, or I'm going to pee right on this yard.

--Central Park

Tourist about to take picture with lens cap on: Oh, shoot! Hold on, I have to take the lens cap off or else the picture is going to be really dark!

--Grand Central Terminal

Tourist girl: I don't get it, there's so many suits here, I thought Union Square would be full of hippies.

--City Hall Park

Tourist on cell: So far, I've experienced coldness and evil.

--57th & 8th

Overheard by: Lag

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015267.html

Drunk man to friend carrying him: And she keeps making fun of my tiny dick, but then she keeps grabbing my ass. Can you explain that to me?

--5th Ave

Overheard by: John-Boy

Man to friend: Ya know I've touched both your dick and your brother's dick... and his is much bigger.

--44th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: bigstoopit

20-something guy: I've just decided I need to quit dicking around and buy some q-tips.

--1 Train

Overheard by: drew

Guy, yelling: I did not put Peter's dick in my mouth. I didn't see it, I don't even know what it looks like! None of us even came and it's not important!

--Greenwich Ave

Obviously straight guy: For a million dollars. I'd suck the Jolly Green Giant's dick, I don't care if it did break my jaw.

--MacDougal St